2017 TOUR DE DONUT – FAT OR FATLETIC?
FOR HUMANITY AND SCIENTIFIC ADVANCEMENT, the Tour de Donut sought to answer the question: Will donuts make you fat or fatletic?
At 6:30am, we began with a weigh-in. Dozens of data points would be collected and crunched along the way to reach a rich and gooey conclusion.
5 donut shops had been selected as the most worthy.
70ish miles were covered.
100+ donuts consumed.
Twilight found us at Surfin’ Donuts. I opted for the apple fritter, since the next stop was 25 miles up the coast. It was on the thin side, crunchy with delicious apples and cinnamon generously applied.
We passed Ole Hanson Beach Park just as the Mach 5 boys were rolling out. They were not interested in the betterment of humanity and peeled off at Laguna Canyon.
Mike and Steve caught up at Rose Bakery and Cafe. A light and fluffy sugar-covered twist lit my senses. A few of our test subjects skipped this spot. Not the TBD Racing crew, who also joined us at this point, they sugared right up. We’ll have to trust their weigh in data, hard to do knowing they are lawyers and marketers.
20ish strong we rolled into Sidecar, the most famous of shops. A huge serpentine line congoed forward. Like Disneyland, we marked our progress towards true donut creativity. Here I lost my virginity to the Bacon Donut. It smelled amazing, and tasted better. Everybody ate.
I was a little loopy, sugar-loaded I guess.
The bike trail to Donut Star was eventful… but that’s another thing.
At Donut Star, a pink cherry cruller gave me a come hither look. Soft and delicate, this beauty melted in my mouth – my favorite of the day. Some of our volunteers strayed to bagels and croissants… no research grant money for them… others, like Chris, doubled up.
Here, I noticed a repeating theme… at each stop patrons inquired how far did we ride and is this the reward? All applauded our quest, though few grasped the significance.
Most of the TBD’s pulled off here, the rest bidding us farewell in Lake Forest.
5 of us battled on to Royal Hamburgers and Donuts. My final selection, a chocolate cake donut covered in chocolate. A solid choice, and very tasty.
On the way back to San Clemente, my energy was actually quite good.
What we learned:
All lost weight.
All drank less water than normal.
Everybody was happy, and cheerful.
Nobody cramped.
Nobody was gassy.
Nobody bonked.
Nobody flatted.
All the kits fit as fine before as after.
All of the craniums functioned correctly.
In conclusion, donuts are tasty, easy to locate in all towns, with a wide ranging variety to keep you satisfied.
Touring by donut is highly recommended… especially if bacon is involved.
strict scientific measures were taken
yes, Vegans eat donuts… there’s hope
so apropos
Matt had a nice little chat with the kid in the Escalade who yelled “butt dart”
Sidecar’s selection is amazing
45 miles in, and loving it
Cheers!
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