UCI ANNOUNCES DROPPER POST BAN!
IN AN EFFORT TO GET AHEAD OF POSITION DOPING, the almighty and glorious governing body of cyclng, The UCI, has decreed dropper posts to be illegal in all forms of bicycle racing. We want to congratulate this bold move...
... only enlightened visionaries could see Droppergate far on the horizon.
Head of Technical Advancement & Safety, Dr. Enrich Von Schmartypants, was captured on Zoom.
Vee are wery concernded with da safety of da pros.
Really?
Ya. Day are taking big risks with da superduperpooper tuck.
Do explain.
Ju see, in da superduperpooper tuck position not only it's likely to lose control of da bicycle but da pooper as well.
Da pooper?
Ja!, just look at der position. Turn it precisely 90 degrees and you see da poop gonna come out. Just a matter of time.
Has it been documented?
Just a matter of da time. Da rider gonna poop during da race. Could easily have been Herr Doumolin.
Oh...
And da sponsor logo gonna be covered in da poop. Dhat's too dangerous for der sport. We already losing so much sponsor euros.
So, it's about the euros then?
It's always about da euros ju dumbpoop.
There you have it folks. Sell those droppers before the bottoms drops out of the market like steamy...
... wisdom from The UCI.
Fortunately, and I do mean very fortunately, neither the UCI nor it's step-child USACycling have much say in most races around these parts.
So, as I start to fill in my RaceDay Calendar™ I'm not worried about their many, silly rules.
I'm really digging the Eddy Merckx version of the calendar.
Check it out.
https://pedalindustries.com/collections/raceday-calendars%E2%84%A2
Look at those eyes.
The determination.
Confidence.
It inspires the helk outta me.
You can get this giant beauty which measures 27" wide X 50 inches tall for a scant $30.
Yep, for 30 smackers you can plan out your year and the various smackdown you intend to deliver or have delivered.
Can you see it there in your garage?
Motivating you?
Or what about one with your team graphics and sponsors?
$30.
Delivered.
https://pedalindustries.com/collections/raceday-calendars%E2%84%A2
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165.4 (very late family dinner, ugh I have no will power when it comes to fresh, hot sourdough bread. none.)
18 PullUps 70 PushUps
6 hours sleep
https://www.strava.com/activities/4771271357