I LOVE VIRGINS

MY STOMACH HURT, 'couldn't stop laughing.

It all started with Uncle Todd, I signed up for a triathlon.

When?

Sunday.

Well, awesome... let's get you hooked up.

It's hard to remember how incredibly foreign a bike can be.  We all rode bikes as kids... but, you pick up a pro-level bike for the first time and it might as well be a NASA spec'd interplanetary rover.

This is a very smart, hard working young man.

Clueless.

Have you ridden it?

Yeah, Uncle Todd.  I have a lot more respect for road bikers.  (just wait, kiddo)

K, how about the gears... do you understand how to shift?

Not really.

So we throw it in the bike stand and play around with the shifting.

Small in back, hard.  Small in front, easy.  

He nods.  I have complete faith by the end of 25 miles he'll have it dialed, but oh man... those first 10 are gonna be rough.

Let's get you in a kit.

The nut crunchers?

You'll be fine... now Wyatt, this is my prized speed suit.  We sell these for over $200.

Oh, okay I don't need that.

Yes you do... I'm telling you that so you have confidence that this is the very best money can buy... now go put it on.

Ok.

No undies, go commando.

He changes... comes out... now, in all fairness he is an outstanding surfer and wetsuits have the zipper in the back... he comes out with... you guessed it... THE ZIPPER IN BACK! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I'm dying.

He starts laughing, can't help it.

What?!

Hahahaha.....hahahaha...

Bro.... hahaha.... it's .... on..... BACKWARDS!!!!

Back in the bathroom, and out.

You look great.  How's it feel.

Amazing.  When do I put it on?

First thing, under your wetsuit.  Then on the bike...

... do I run in it?

Absolutely?

For real?

Yes, my buddy Joby just PR'd Kona in that exact speed suit.

He smiles.

Me too... can't wait to go watch him Sunday.

I wore that very suit to a number of surprising road victories this year.  If you want to check it out here's the link:

https://pedalindustries.com/products/splatter-speed-suit-master-yellow

 _____

165.4 lbs
20 pullups/60 pushups
7.5 hrs sleep
1.25 hour ride.

Ride with us: click for info.