FLIPPING THE SWITCH

I WAS TRYING TO REMEMBER the first time I felt competitive.  Not the feeling of having a chance to win.  The one before that, of...

... wanting to win.

Not, the 
Oh, look I won a prize kinda win.
Or the,
I beat grampa at cards kind either.

The other one,
the one for killers.

It was about the time I started playing tennis,
but, if didn't originate during those slow paced matches on the court.

I think I gor my first taste in 4th grade,
when the O'Malley twins pinned me down after school and pummeled me...

... just for fun.

I didn't think it was fun,
it hurt, and I cried as I walked home alone,
but, I was sure I'd be on the giving end next time.

I had to wait 2 years, 
the 6th grade bmx shootout.

It was essentially an enduro race...

Starting at the top of a mile long city park,
launching on massive jumps we built,
over a huge, thickly cut grass field,
across a major thoroughfare (so dumb),
snaking through the junior high
sprinting onto the football field,
finishing on a giant double jump

... it was there that I learned to flip the switch.

I wanted that win so bad,

to beat my friends...

... to pay back the humiliations of being bullied,
the frustrations of my parents failed marriage,
of sucking all ball and stick sports.

I learned to put my elbows out,
to win.

It felt good.

So, when I saw the amazingly talented high schoolers battle it today, giving it all they had and not winning, but crying...

... I understood.

Sometimes, we just need a win.

It's okay to cry when the shift hits the fan.
It's okay to care about winning,
it's a life skill we need...

... to survive.

Those who learn it, will be fine,
those who master what it means to win...

... will master life.

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163
7.5 hrs
No strength training
0 minutes recovery
60 minutes reading + Journaling