DO YOU MIND IF I SLEEP WITH YOUR WIFE?

Can I ride your bike? feels just like, can I sleep with your wife?  I can relate to you not relating, but can you relate to my answer?  Can you get a sense of what your asking me man?

Try and understand.

This bike didn’t just show up one day.

I scoured the interwebs, drooled in showrooms, visionboarded this lovely into reality.  She arrived a virgin.  Pristine and pure.

(AND YOU WANT TO TAKE HER FOR A RIDE?!)… shame on you.

I didn’t even ride her at first.  We took an intimate trip to the fitter, essential for us to get to acquainted.  We went for a gentle glide together, just the too of us.

(AND YOU WANT TO TAKE HER FOR A RIDE?!)… you filthy %$@.

I took her home, and introduced her to the family.  Her name is Flashy Jack, because though timid she has a wild streak.  We made a special space just for her, off to the side where she could rest unmolested.  My little princess.

(AND YOU WANT TO TAKE HER FOR A RIDE?!)… have you gone mad?

Over time we became one: climbing up and getting down, charging hard and easing into the sunset. We glisten and listen only to each other.

(AND YOU WANT TO TAKE HER FOR A RIDE?!)…

…. do you mind if I sleep with…